attorneyatlol

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Location: Los Angeles, CA

Entry tags:

077

I don't seem to use this journal for much more than getting a hold of other people or complaining about viruses anymore, but a conversation got me thinking about what it means to be positive. I know, it's a trite subject, right? 'The power of positive thinking'. It makes me think of a self-help seminar... But to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I'd ever accomplish anything if I wasn't sure I would accomplish it. I don't know how or why I developed that mindset or if it was even a conscious decision, but I'm grateful that I have. I can't imagine what would have happened if I'd given up on certain goals...

Don't get me wrong. It's not always easy, and nobody can be positive all the time, but I think it beats the alternative in a lot of cases.

I guess this is why some people have me labeled as an optimist.

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(...Would you blame them, Wright?) As you said, each of us has our own experiences to draw from. They shape our views and our outlook, but motivations are inconsequential to the categories. If a man is a pessimist because life has taught him to fear being anything else, he is still a pessimist.

...No. I wouldn't blame them. You're right.

(Perhaps you should. Cowardice is also cowardice, regardless of the motivations behind it.)

(Damn this place. I don't know whether to be frustrated or relieved that your thoughts aren't open to me. If I didn't tr- know that you have enough sense not to pity me...)

I generally am.

And ignorance is ignorance, regardless of the motivations behind it.

...I really can be naive sometimes, huh?

Wright...

(I fear the day when you can't be any longer. Please, God, don't let me be the one to bring it about.)

What...?

(Damn.)

Your optimism has allowed you to achieve things others couldn't. Even I have seen enough to acknowledge that. I simply (...) hope my adamant insistence on realism doesn't encourage you to discard the viewpoint you've been so successful with.

(...Dear God. Miles Edgeworth, you are a fool.)

Edgeworth... You're one of the reasons I am the way I am. Optimist, pragmatist, whatever it is, I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for you.

What?

The things you used to tell me when we were kids... I know it seemed like I wasn't listening sometimes, but a few things managed to sink in. I believed in those words. I still believe in them, and that's why... I mean, I know it sounds stupid, but I can't let them go.

I'm not so naive that I don't know what it's like to have the odds stacked against me, Edgeworth, or so fortunate that I've never been in a situation where I was afraid everything would fall apart (or even in a situation where everything did fall apart), but when I remember the things you said, I feel like it'll be okay. I know that, whatever happens, as long as I keep pushing toward that goal and still have the support of the people around me, I'll be able to accomplish what I need to.

It's not that I expect the best possible outcome. It's that I'll keep fighting until I get it.

(You can't be)

(For so many years? Through so many trials?)

Wright... (Oh God, Wright...)

If...my words inspired anything, it was because they weren't my own.

But you believed them, too. And... I don't think I would have listened if they were coming from anybody else.

(You're a fool, Wright. An unmitigated, unrepentant fool. Without you I'd)

Then even when we were children, you gave me more faith than I'd earned. I suppose it's reassuring to know that isn't a recent development, at least.

Edited 2009-03-31 00:52 (UTC)

Neither is me being a fool, I guess.

You did a lot for me, Edgeworth. I know it didn't seem like a big deal at the time... but you did a lot for me.

That fact I was already aware of.

(Not enough. Not nearly enough, and likely it never will be. Still, it's...something.)

...Perhaps, though the bulk of the credit belongs elsewhere. As I said, the words weren't mine.

Edited 2009-03-31 02:05 (UTC)

The feelings behind them were, though.

...Don't think like that, alright? It was enough for me, and that's all that matters.

...It is.

(No. What you expect in recompense and what you deserve are vastly different measures.)

Edgeworth...

What, Wright?

Nothing... Never mind.

(Don't.)

You went to great lengths to repay me, Wright.

I didn't do it so you would owe me, okay?

(Do you honestly believe I could suspect that you did?) Then why, Wright? Tell me why you did it.

We've had this conversation before...

(We... Ah.)

Indeed we have. But, if I recall correctly, that question wasn't a part of it.

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